


Strong-willed

by Mastre



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Loki Feels, Loki Gets a Hug, Loki Has Issues, POV Third Person, Sibling Bonding, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 18:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8171416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mastre/pseuds/Mastre
Summary: What if Loki had a badass twin sister? What would her reaction to the events be?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on an idea I got a while back, that is finally finished. A little different from what I normally write, but not by much: it's still a love story, just of a different kind.

She fell apart. It was like someone had reached in and ripped her soul to pieces. Nothing was ever the same after.

She had taken him being there for granted; they had never been apart. Not really. They had fought back to back in battle, shared their frustrations over other people's pettiness, shared things that noone else would understand.

They were chips of the same block.

She sat on the broken rainbow bridge and wept till there were no tears left.

And then there was the heritage.  
One day, not long after Loki's fall, mother called her in for a serious conversation.  
"I understand Loki didn't find the opportunity to talk to you when you came home that day."  
"He did not."

Rúna had barely returned to the palace when it happened, been gone for merely a few days. There had been no time to speak to him before it all went so horribly awry. No time to say goodbye, no words to remember him by. Just a broken bridge and emptiness. Vast, cold emptiness.

Then mother told her about the day father had come home from the war with not one, but two small babies; a boy and a girl. She also told her what had happened to Loki the fateful day in Jotunheim, and how it had shaken him. More so than mother had realized at the time.  
"So I... We're both... We're _jotuns_?"  
"You were always twins, love. Even in birth. You had each other from the very beginning."

_But not till the end._

She was stunned by the revelation. Horrified, just like he must have been, but also numb. Maybe she had poured all her feelings into the grief already so there barely were any left.  
"Does Thor know?" she asked.  
"Not yet. I will speak to him as well, but I wanted to make sure you knew the truth before I do so."  
"He will hate me."  
Mother shook her head, sadness in her eyes.  
"No, Rúna. That he will not."  
"He broke the bridge. It was because of him..."

_... my real brother is gone._

She would never forgive him.

* * *

Odin was not pleased.  
"This cannot continue," he said.  
"We need to give her more time," Frigga said calmly. "It has been less than a year."  
"Rúna was always strong-willed and contrary, you know that as well as I."  
"But she and Loki temperated each other. She has to find a way on her own."  
"What she needs is a husband," Odin insisted. "Perhaps we were wrong in looking for suitors her own age. If it's temperating she needs she would likely fare better with someone older."  
Frigga closed her eyes briefly, holding back a sigh.  
"There are few options left as it is, and we cannot force her to marry. She has made clear that she has no interest in such."  
"So she has, and in the worst possible way."

Their adopted daughter had come up with ways to scare off her admirers that varied from the creative to the downright offensive. Revealing her jotun heritage had been in a class of it's very own. Not many suitors remained after that.

Frigga rose and went to look out over the training grounds. The object of their conversation was attacking her opponent with fierce determination, using every trick at her disposal. Yet another reason the suitors were scarce; few men wanted a wife who were more skilled, not to mention ruthless, than they were on the battlefield.  
"I have hope she will one day find her way. She is resourceful, and her strong will may yet reveal itself to be a blessing."

* * *

When Frigga told them about her vision Odin seemed to have difficulty believing it.  
"He cannot possibly be alive. His body would have scattered all over Yggdrasil."  
The image made Rúna wince, but she, for one, didn't doubt. Because somewhere, deep in her heart, she had never stopped hoping. And now... Loki was alive, and he was up to something.

Of course father wouldn't let her go; he was sending Thor instead. No pleading would change the Allfather's mind. That she was closer to Loki than Thor ever had been didn't matter. That she was the one he'd trust over anyone was unimportant.

_Well, I have my own ways._

She snuck away quietly while the rest of the family was busy and noone would notice her missing for a few hours to come. Even if they did they would think little of it; she was known to go her own ways. She made sure to cloak herself from Heimdall's gaze well before it could be suspected where she was heading.

The secret passageways were known to few; she and Loki had spent endless hours searching and mapping them, and likely knew more of them than anyone in the nine worlds. It wasn't the first time she'd entered the mortals' realm, only the first time she did so alone. 

She should have made more effort to blend in, striking up to much attention with her pale skin and raven black hair. Appearantly the mortals found her beautiful in an exotic way. When someone asked if she was a "goth", she quickly learned the meaning of the word and decided to dress appropriately. It made her look younger, like a Midgardian teenage girl, and her natural appearance no longer evoke such attention. She presented a more symmetric picture.

It was not as if she was helpless against unwanted attention. She could use illusions to escape the scene and she had no problem defending herself if someone got a little too physical. She was a goddess after all, and way stronger than these humans. It was the problem with being noticed. She needed to be as inconspicous as possible.

Thor had an advantage, she must admit; he could fly. For her it took considerably longer to reach her destination and it was almost too late. Her lost brother was already in containment, waiting to be picked up and brought home.  
"What did they do to you?" she asked sternly. Loki didn't bruise easily, certainly not by a mortal's hands.  
"How precious of you to visit, sweet sister," he said sarcastically. "I wasn't aware Thor brought you along. The Allfather doesn't trust him to be capable of bringing me back on his own?"  
"Father doesn't know I'm here."

_He's probably figured it out by now, though._

Loki frowned. He looked different; worn and hardened. It wasn't just the bruises on his face. His hair was almost as long as hers and unkempt, like he hadn't even bothered with maintaining it. Something was... wrong.  
"What happened to you?" she asked.  
"Is this what you're here to do? Interrogate me till Thor arrives?"  
"Of course not." His harsh words had shaken her back to reality. "You're coming with me."

It was a bad plan. It hadn't even been a plan. She had counted on reaching him before it came to this, early enough to reason with him, convince him to give up what he was planning and come home. Now that had all fallen apart and she had to improvise.  
Despite that, the willingness with which he came with her told her that she wasn't totally off course. 

They found a place to rest and regroup in an abandoned building. Combining their magic they set up wards to warn them if anyone would approach, and created a simple illusion to make the surroundings less depressing. There was nothing to do about the smell, but at least they didn't have to see the mess.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, standing in the middle of the floor and avoiding her gaze.  
"Because I don't trust Thor to do it right."  
He huffed.  
"And what is 'right'?"  
"I want to know what happened to you. And what you did to make them put you in that cell."  
"You don't know yet?" He raised an eyebrow at her, all sarcastic and mocking. "You didn't see the wreckage out there? The smoking ruins?"  
"That was you? What did you do?"  
"My dear, little sister. I will tell you what I did and then you can join Thor and bring me back to Asgard in chains. I'm sure the Allfather will reward you."  
"I'm no younger than you; don't be an ass." She simply dragged him along by the arm and took a seat on the floor next to a wall. He reluctantly sat down beside her.  
"What are you wearing?" he asked, like it was the first time he noticed.  
"It's called goth. Now stop stalling and tell me what you've done."

* * *

It took a while. She wasn't sure how much to believe at first, but she knew Loki better than anyone, and she didn't detect any of his subtle signs of twisting the truth.  
"Why? _Why_ would you do such a thing? It's madness! Father would never have let you rule Midgard for long."  
"Perhaps. But I would have had the means to defend against his forces were he to send them."  
She pinched the bridge of her nose.  
"I cannot believe you would do this. And what about the tesseract? What would you use it for?"  
"It wasn't meant for me. My allies allowed me use of their army in return for me retrieving the tesseract for them. However..."  
"And who would such allies be?" she interrupted.  
"I will tell you at a more suitable time," he said curtly and made a move to stand up again. She held him back. Though he could have shaken off her hand he halted and sank back against the wall.

"Did you mourn me?" he asked without looking at her.  
"More than you will ever know," she said bitterly. "Loki..."  
"Did you really? I'm sure you've learned what I am by now. And what I did." His voice went from flat to aggressive.  
"That you're jotun, you mean? So am I."  
His eyes darted towards her, but she wasn't sure whether it was her knowledge that startled him or the carefree way she adressed it.  
"You know?"  
"Mother told me. Most of Asgard knows by now; I had to make them stop trying to marry me off to every dimwitted fool in the nine realms."  
He put a hand over his eyes and laughed quietly.  
"I swear by the Norns, there are times when you still succeed in astounding me."

They sat for a long time, talk interspersed with silence. Quiet had never bothered them when together; it was neither awkward nor boring, but a natural part of their interaction. For a brief moment in time it felt like everything was mended, like he'd never been gone, never lost. But something was different; it stood out to her like a sharp blade against flesh.

He reluctantly let her look at his injuries and though they weren't pretty, they were healing. She was more concerned about the scars she found on his skin. Scars that had not been there before his fall.  
"Where did you get these?"  
"It does not matter," he answered, adjusting his clothes.  
"Of course it does! Those are no battle scars."  
"My allies weren't always kind," he said coldly, but refused to speak more of it.

She wrapped her arms around him and he stiffened.  
"Don't..."  
"Be quiet. Something happened to you out there. I want to know what it was."  
He tried to forcefully remove her arms and wiggle out of the unwanted embrace.  
"We are not children anymore. Take your hands off me."  
"Then stop behaving like one."  
"I don't need your pity!" he snapped.  
"It's not pity! Why are you like acting like this?" He finally gave in with a frustrated sigh and let her pet his hair.  
"We are twins, you know. That means we belong together."  
"Not anymore," he insisted stubbornly. "You should go back while you can, and build a life for yourself."  
"A life? Getting married to some old fool and churn out babies? Can you believe father tried to marry me off to lord Aurnir?" She shuddered with disgust.  
"At least you would have a life!" he spat. "Do not throw that away!"  
She gave him a hard shove.  
"You're not to tell me what to value!"  
"Ow!" he exclaimed in mild surprise. "You've grown strong, little sister."

She didn't bother correcting him this time; it would only make it worse. Giving Loki a weakness to play with was inviting trouble.  
"You're just like other men; think I can't do what I want because I'm a woman."  
"If I'm just like others you'd better leave me here and go back home." There was something in his voice that didn't resonate with the harsh words. She pulled him closer again, making him growl in complaint.  
"If you're not returning neither am I," she stated. "We do much better together than apart, we always have."  
He sighed exasperatedly.  
"You do not know what you're saying."

They rested silently for a while, darkness falling outside and leaving the room in shadow. She felt like something in her brother had been irreparably lost, and she couldn't find a way to get it back. It was like he'd aged centuries in the mere year he'd been gone. An innocence, a playfulness that no longer could be sensed no matter how hard she tried. On the other hand, maybe he felt the same in her. A part of her had died with him on the bridge that day, leaving a wasteland where her childish carefreeness had been.

"I will not abandon you," she said. "You need me."  
"I do not!" but the protest sounded feeble, either because he knew she was right, or because he found it futile to fight her. His head was resting on her shoulder, hair tickling her face.  
"You smell funny," she commented.  
"I haven't had the opportunity to bathe," he said sarcastically.  
"No, I don't mean that. You smell different. Not like you did at home."  
He didn't answer to that, only closed his eyes and sighed. She placed a hand on his cheek.  
"Since when are you so affectionate?" he murmured.  
"I can be affectionate when I want to," she objected.  
"As I recall you're usually more prone to hitting people than hugging them, he said drily.  
"Only because they give me reason! If they don't behave like asses I don't need to hit anyone."  
He chuckled.  
"If we weren't related I might consider marrying you."  
"Ugh! Don't even think it!" She pushed him away again. "Why is that all men can think about? Are you aware that Fandral tried to kiss me?"  
"He did what?" Loki straightened up, eyes dangerously dark.  
"Oh, don't go all protective brother on me! I hit him in the nose and set a rat loose in his chambers. It chew through half of his bedding before they caught it."  
Loki laughed.  
"Your methods lack subtlety, dear sister, but they have always been effective."  
"The subtlety lies in not letting anyone prove it was me, as you very well know."

* * *

They ended up sleeping for a few hours. She made sure he couldn't get up and leave without her noticing, but she wouldn't have needed to worry; he slept like the dead.

When she woke in the early morning hours she sat up but remained where she was, considering the possibilities. Bringing Loki home was no longer an option; the Allfather would no doubt punish him severely. Staying on Midgard didn't seem appealing either. 

She waited with waking him up; it looked like he needed the rest. She felt now more than ever that he was a part of her. She felt whole again, for the first time since his fall. Or as whole as she could ever be after so much grieving.  
So, he had changed. So had she.

"You don't seem overly bothered by finding out what we are," Loki's voice reached her. "Or who our father was." He rose himself up to sitting position.  
"I was more bothered by something else at the time," she said pointedly. "I thought I'd never see you again."  
He huffed quietly, but didn't meet her gaze as he stood on his feet.  
"I'm sure you would have lived your life well enough without my presence tainting your prospects."  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
"It means that Thor was the crown prince, while you were the princess who would be married off to some Vanaheim lord for the sake of alliance. Where does that leave me, you think?"  
She looked at him.  
"I... I don't..."  
"Oh, he had a plan for me too," Loki said with a bitter chuckle. "He wanted to create an alliance with Jotunheim. It just didn't work out the way he wanted. Now I'm naught but a shame to his name and legacy."  
"Be quiet!" she shouted angrily. "Why are you doing this?"  
"Doing what?" he asked innocently. "Pointing out the truth? You don't think he will welcome me home with open arms, do you? All forgiving?"  
"That's not what I mean," she started, then realized he knew exactly what she meant. "Why do you keep pushing me away?" she asked instead, more disappointed than angry. He looked almost guilty for a moment, then turned away so she couldn't see his face, only his fist tightening as he walked through the room.  
"Because you deserve better," he said, so quietly she barely heard it. "You can't follow where I go; it will bring you nothing but grief."  
"You already brought me grief, she reminded him. "Because you left me alone. I didn't believe them at first, but it's true, isn't it? That you let go? You didn't fall. You _let go_ !"  
"So I did." He stood with his back turned when speaking those words, yet they were so very clear in the silence of the warded room.  
"Why, Loki?" She only now realised there were tears streaming down her face. Cold tears. They had always been cold. How could she not have known?  
"I couldn't do it any longer," he said quietly. "I tried everything and it was never enough." He turned around to face her. "No matter what I did it was _never_ enough!"

She understood what he was referring to even though he didn't spell it out. The eternal frustration of not being recognized the way Thor was. Not having his skills and talents valued. Yes, she was familiar with it. They were twins, but his struggles had always been different from hers. While she had been devalued for being a girl and a woman he had been so for being different, and for standing in Thor's shadow. Never enough.

But letting go...

"How could you? How could you leave us in such a manner? We loved you."  
He made a sound between a huff and a laugh.  
"Loved? You believe that? Oh no, I was a chess piece, a tool to be used when it became convenient."  
She walked up to him, shaking with anger.  
"You don't believe I cared for you?"  
His face hardened.  
"Perhaps, perhaps not. It hardly matters now."  
"It's all that matters!" she shouted and would have slapped him had he not caught her wrist in time.  
"I'm sorry, love," he said, and she could tell that he really was. There was a rare sincerity in his eyes in that moment. And it just made her cry more.  
"How could you?" she said again.  
"You need to go back," he insisted, holding her close to his chest. "Think of mother!"  
"Did you think of mother when...?"  
"That's enough!" he bit down, but didn't release her.

He was right in that they hadn't really been physically affectionate since they were children. They had mostly connected through their minds. There were times when they could even read each other's thoughts. Lately she had come to wonder if that was a jotun thing or just a twin thing.

She wasn't sure why she'd been so set on physical contact now. Maybe it was the need to feel that he was real, that he hadn't actually died below the bridge that day and she was only imagining him being back.  
"You can't follow me," he said into her hair. "It's not in your nature to follow."  
"Neither is it in yours."

It was true. In whatever they did there had never been a true leader and a follower. It had more been... a cooperation of sort. The way their minds worked together had made it possible with very little negotiation. She wondered if it still was.  
"I'm not going back," she said, freeing herself from his embrace. "If you won't have me along I'll go somewhere else on my own. Vanaheim maybe, or..."  
"Rúna..."  
"I will not sit around and wait to be married off," she stated firmly. There was no compromise in her words and she counted on Loki being bright enough to recognize a lost cause when he saw one. He was stubborn, not stupid.

He remained quiet for a few moments, then clenched his jaw and turned away.  
"Very well. We stay together, but I will not comfort you when you come to regret it."

He didn't see the smug smile forming on her lips. Her brother may be the god of lies, but she could use truths just as skillfully. It was only a matter of saying them at the right moment.

They deconstructed the wards and walked out into the morning sun. The street was empty.  
"We need to remove ourselves from here before Thor picks up the trail," he said.  
"I know. And then we need to figure out what to do next."  
"Indeed."  
Their thoughts connected for a brief moment and if felt like it had in the past.

_We always had each other._

The wounds would heal. Trust could be rebuilt. 

They would no longer be alone.


End file.
